Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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