I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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