And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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