i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
