youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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