i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
