Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
