Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
