So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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