apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ladies don't puke and tell
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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