...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
