seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
