your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
