Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
