How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
