ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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