I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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