i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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