what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
