he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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