I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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