I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
