That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
