College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
