The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
