I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
