Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
