she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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