I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
