After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize