woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
