He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
