No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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