i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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