apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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