im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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