I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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