yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize