you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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