How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
