IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
