I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
ok first of all what the fuck
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize