No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
