i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
