How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
