that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
