i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
soo... how was my night?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
