you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
