dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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