he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
