DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize