my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize