Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.