Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?