Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420