I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
pop tarts are not kleenex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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