Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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