Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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