I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No stitches, just platelets and will power
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I need a beard to bite.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
