Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
