never play flip cup with pint glasses
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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