What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
