she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
