Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
one might say we're banned from that church
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
