We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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