Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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