I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
